Tell us about yourself.

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Tell us about yourself.

Post  Andrew Gubb on Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:59 pm

I so love talking to indigos and lightworkers about how they discovered who they were in this crazy world which wants anything but people waking up to their true essence. I was just talking on indigotime (www.blogtalkradio.com/indigotime) and mentioned a bit about how I awoke, and then i've been getting to know someone else on facebook and heard some of their story. It's so fun, especially when angels, spirits, and the like are involved! Very Happy

So what was in your magical journey? What hurdles have you overcome? What were the twists in your path?

I've written a lot about this but, in short, I was looking for myself for about 5 years. I was depressed, alone, sick and at one point crazy. Two years ago I had a major awakening stimulated by a reading with Erin Pavlina, and everything started changing. I moved to a new place, got to know people in my soul family, and found out who I was. Now things are moving so fast and so much positive change is happening, it's amazing. I feel like I have the world just about at my fingertips... I'm going to create some amazing stuff for the highest good of all! Very Happy

Oh I'm fired up now. I love you.

Andrew

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Re: Tell us about yourself.

Post  lookcloser on Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:18 am

Okay, so my life started when I was born(duh). And from as long as I can remember I had always been the generous kind, I would ask my Mom why there are prisons and why isn't the whole world one country and why she and Dad would fight so often. I would go into sever depression when I see a beggar and I would constantly fantasize about a world where there were none and everybody had more than just enough. I couldn't stand it when my Dad would beat my brother for not studying and stuff. I was so overwhelmed by all the anger and sadness and negativity in the world. I would constantly cry as a child. When I was six I would tell everyone I wanted to 'become Mother Theresa when I grow up'. Smile

But I think as I grew up instead of having a lot of friends and a lot of love, I just ended being a loner with a lot of secrets and shame. My parents would bar me from doing anything that I really wanted to because 'that's not something a girl from a good family would do' and that is in reference to dancing and playing football with the guys! They would take their anger out on me because, they stayed in their disfunctional marriage 'for me', 'so that society won't point fingers AT ME while growing up'. I was always like WHAT THE FUCK?!! That makes NO SENSE!! And they constantly had to point out how I am a girl and I can't do much. They would let my brother do anything he wanted but for me there was a 1000 page rule book. They would camouflage cynicism with realism. Wow I still can't believe I survived all of that.

So I think my true self and desires were hidden somewhere very very deep within myself after years of being trampled on and walked all over. At school I was a weakling and the prime attraction of all the girl bullies and I would get so easily hurt when someone was mean to me. If I found someone kind and nice I would shower them with SO MUCH love that people started calling me a lesbian! Lol I don't complain much because I recently discovered that I'm bisexual.

After joining college I was a part of a group that would party a lot and have a lot of 'fun'. I initially loved it because it involved in talking to a lot of people but it really wasn't about that. It was about being 'in' and popular and doing some serious character assassinations silent
I never got along with other girls of my age because I was somehow never able to relate to ANYTHING they say. Their goal in life is to 'Get a degree and get married to a 'nice guy' and make babies'. They would either be the ones who think sex before marriage is 'immoral and evil' or the ones who would give it up to just anybody. So I never found anyone I can relate with. And I'm kinda hated by most of those girls Rolling Eyes

I think since the last year I've started realizing and embracing how different I am and its all thanks to the internet(really what would I do without it). I stumbled upon Steve Pavlina's website purely by accident while working on a project report then I started reading Erin's website. I think I've read all her articles about a 100 times. Even now if I'm having a bad day reading some of her stuff gives me so much strength! And now I'm exposed to so many ideas and thoughts of so many wonderful people around the world I feel so blessed! I don't feel like an alien anymore. I feel like I'm part of an amazing family of people. I first read about Indigo people about a year back and a lot of the descriptions seem to fit but I always had a self loathing thought 'Oh well girl, your not that special'. But now I believe I am one without a doubt. The feeling of oneness and unconditional love resonates so much with my inner being. There are times while meditating I break into tears because of the overwhelming surge of happiness or joy, I don't know what it is actually and feel like why don't people look at things this way? Its everything they are really looking for anyway. I talk about this stuff to everybody in my real life but I get so dejected when they don't listen or pretend to listen while staring at my boobs(I don't have a problem with the boob staring though;))

I still have a lot of growing to do, I feel like I get on and off the path of love and growth so often. But yeah, I never lose hope Smile

I love you all! Smile Very Happy Smile

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Re: Tell us about yourself.

Post  Andrew Gubb on Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:49 am

And we all love you beautiful!! *snuggles* I love you I love you I love you

I loved that................. I can identify with so much of it....

It's funny, when I was a kid I didn't have much of a consciousness of myself as a "good guy" helping people. Perhaps because I liked to be strong, and I didn't want to be the catholic sort of saintly person who let others walk all over him. A false dichotomy as strength and love can and must go together, but I had that conflict... nowadays I like being a "pirate lightworker" to show I'm love and strength combined Wink

I remember I enjoyed playing evil characters sometimes in role playing games and so on. I was treated like shit by my family, particularly my incredibly immature dad, and I think at some level I felt "bad" as a person. The shame energy was verrry strong and though my lightworker consciousness has been awakening for more than a year now, I am still clearing out layers of it.

Actually what I most identified with was a rebel. As I grew up my energy was mostly about getting oppressors off from on top of me and being happy and having fun. I just wanted to make people laugh and hated boredom. I pissed off teachers again and again..... yet when I left school, they were sad to see me go.

And a leader. Now I remember - isn't memory tricky? - I was always using my philosophical mind to think up ways of bettering the world, if I were a leader or whatever. I was into global consciousness even then...

Though, despite the layer of dark shame energy, I still felt bewildered at all of the stuff that went on. When someone beat me up in school I was in a state of shock because it made no sense at all... seriously, I remember not fighting back and saying something like "well that's not nice...!"

I remember when my sister started getting attacked in this new school we went to. She told me (like it was a good thing) that she had learnt to cover up everything she was and make a new image to get by. I didn't, I couldn't, and rejected my sister for it, thinking her weak. Luckily the universe pulled me out of this school after a week, but not before I'd gotten beaten up like 4 times and had lots of my stuff stolen.

Just like I rejected my sister, I rejected the world for being too weak to live up to their inner truth. Why didn't they FIGHT? There would be no oppression if people weren't such sheep who let the vampires herd them and suck their blood! Why were they letting themselves being put into CASTES? Why did everyone but me refuse to see the OBVIOUS??

I had the same extreme love as you with a female friend (who I wasn't scared of, cause she didn't have this shield males have normally) and fantasised about having a girlfriend with whom I could express my intense love wth. When I finally got a girlfriend, the intensity of my love freaked her out. That kept happening with girl after girl till I started meeting indigos Smile

It really is funny how memory is. I had (and to some degree, subconsciously, have still) a self image of ugly, horrible, disgusting, useless, worthless, shitty.......... just a reflection of my father's horrible energy from what he showed me I was.... and i guess even now it affects my memories from that era... all such dakr memories cause i didn't want to examine what i was doing, for fear of it being too horrible to accept, just as I felt too horrible to accept myself...................................................... But now I remember the times I expressed love, such bright love that people fell in love with me. And yeah thinking about how to save the world and so on, and imagining creating new businesses like Richard Branson or going into politics to change how things were. This charge of energy to change and create, combined with a self loathing and despair.............

Well i just wrote all that thinking about your quote that you wanted to be mother teresa, and i was wondering why i didn't!

We all have different paths to walk

Still, I so vibe with your experiences Smile

Love you so much LC Smile

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Are we alone? No, I'm here ...

Post  michael345 on Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:02 pm

Yes, I've been on a hiatus of sorts. Now at the biological age of 61 I've re-kindled that flame. You now, THAT flame. I dropped into the earth plane just after WW2 in the grey English midlands. Almost right away the visions started. I saw people's thoughts, and sounds presented themselves to me as a rich tapestry of texture and colour. It disturbed me that people were so limited in imagination and feeling. In school when we started drawing half decent representations of people, I drew them in all kinds of different colours, but not for the reasons the adults thought. I wanted to expand people's minds and imagination, and this was what I tried to express. The school years weren't easy, lots of hostility and cruelty, the usual alienation punctuated by the kindness of exceptional teachers or a favourite uncle, and the world of the library. My mother, god bless her, taught me to read at a very early age and drilled me mercilessly until I got it. Well, I got it and around the age of 7 I could just look at a page and instantly absorb it, complete with animations, sound and other sensory data. I later learned that I have a condition called synesthesia, the ability to cross-connect sensory data. Usually this is experienced by "seeing" words and numbers in characteristic colours. In my case I "see" sound. Music is particularly interesting, as are people's voices.
I would sit and ponder what it would be like to fly effortlessly, physically and in my mind, to anywhere, anytime, and explore the unlimited realms of the imagination.
When I was about 10 I discovered that I had the ability to put my hands on people to heal them. Years later I learned to channel that by doing shiatsu and reiki, and no-name energy healing.
After high school I got mixed up with that new age quasi-religious church from Korea, the one with mass weddings. At the time it was a creative outlet for my burning idealism. Some good life lessons there, but also a few broken bones and scars, figuratively speaking!
After doing the marriage-job-house in the suburbs thing, spirit again knocked on my door and started bringing all kinds of stuff into my life. Seth. Krishnamurti. Kryon. Traditional Chinese medicine. And a few things I still regret. Quite a mixed bag! Seven years ago there was a serendipitous meeting with my "twin flame" on a spiritual new-age forum similar to this one. It was instant recognition. The love, respect and understanding were quite profound. There was an intense year of relating and sharing things, but I was in a difficult situation and she far across the ocean, in the final phase of a complex terminal illness. After surgery to remove a kidney she suddenly gave up the ghost leaving me a bit gob-smacked. But, there is always a bigger picture and after a while this picture forms and begins to make sense.
I'm sharing this story because I'm sure many of you have had experiences like this and are trying to make some sense out of them. Take heart. Trust that things are just fine, and your life is on track, despite signs to the contrary. You are supported on all sides. And remember, ask and you shall receive!

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